My Eyes, According to Police Reports, Adored Your 'Stache

Droogs,

Long years of people-watching were rewarded yesterday by the ultimate prize: a shriveled sex dwarf, stepping lively on the Limmerstrasse in short-shorts (who looked as though he'd been huffing amyl nitrate poppers in a Bavarian latex dungeon for the past 35 years, all the while listening to Italian Hi-NRG versions of late 70s Frankie Valli comeback dross), wearing a denim rucksack emblazoned with the logo "JEANS."

(No photos, unfortunately. He was moving too fast...)

TS

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