Friday, April 28, 2006

Greetz from Academe...

I'm in the midst of an end-of-semester paper-writing jag, brought on by the sudden (slight) surfeit of free time. (Regular class sessions ended yesterday.) My father's illness continues to weigh heavily over most aspects of this adventure... At the risk of seeming monstrously petty, I must admit to being distracted. It all sucks.

Anyhow, I'm taking a breather from the research. Sorry about not blogging regularly of late...

Caught this piece a few minutes ago on the Huffington Post. Amazing.

Here's the AP copy (and photo):

House Speaker Dennis Hastert of Ill., center, gets out of a Hydrogen Alternative Fueled automobile, left, as he prepares to board his SUV, which uses gasoline, after holding a news conference at a local gas station in Washington, Thursday, April 27, 2006 to discuss the recent rise in gas prices. Hastert and other members of Congress drove off in the Hydrogen-Fueled cars only to switch to their official cars to drive the few blocks back to the U.S. Capitol. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)



Such foul, shameless fucks...

Okay, back to pounding my head against the stacks.

Love/Death,

Tom

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Nokia Shares Plummeting at HQ...

(Amended 29 Aprl 06.)

This fucking 6255i of mine has disintegrated, been rendered wholly inoperable. Motherfucking Swiss choco-clock eaters! How can such an expensive goddamned device fall to pieces in less than eight months? I didn't lose it up Nate Young's ass (although many antiquities, Gazala originals, etc., have purportedly been secreted there), didn't run over it with my dad's moss-encrusted electric golf cart or lummox-like F150 (my Intrepid would, in all likelihood, fail to scuff it), didn't throw it against the wall after studying the vagaries of pronoun declination in the genitive case in Russian grammar... It developed a tiny hairline fissure, then slowly, gradually... Broke in fucking half! C*nts!!!



Ordered a Moto Razr as a replacement... Another set of cables... AAUGH!!

TS

(P.S. In reflection I've recalled that Nokia is a Finnish company... Herring-laden sauna fucks!)

Monday, April 24, 2006

The Collective Needs a Larger Mess Hall...

In a development we've seen slowly paradiddling toward us for months, Andrew W.K. has decided to vacate the TLASILA drum riser. (Ah, bittersweet convulsions...)

His replacement? AWK sticksman Richie Russo!

Why? The Wolf is switching to keyboards... (With Noon fairly slathered with harmolodics, we had very little choice.)

TLASILA personnel:

Bastard/Wolcott/Morgan/Fleming/Wilkes-Krier/Grier/Moore (hon.)/Russo/Smith.

Gotta send out for more towelettes!

B**t,

Tom

Saturday, April 22, 2006

TLASILA: Canada/USA Tour Update

(Amended 24 April 06.)

Here's a rough draft. If you live within a reasonable striking distance, COME AND DESTROY WITH US.

(Dates subject to change, violent alteration, etc.)

USA

August 17 (Th): Buffalo (or Rochester), TBA

CANADA

August 18 (F): Toronto, Sneaky Dee's [confirmed]

August 19 (Sat): Montreal, Club Lambi [confirmed]

August 20 (Sun): Hamilton, TBA

August 21 (M): London, TBA

USA

August 22 (T): Detroit/Ann Arbor, TBA

August 23 (W): Chicago, TBA

August 24 (Th): Indianapolis, TBA

August 25 (F): Pittsburgh, TBA

August 26 (Sat): Washington, DC, TBA

August 27 (Sun): Baltimore, possible Twig/Carly afternoon benefit

August 27 (Sun): Philadelphia, TBA (evening performance)

August 28 (M): NYC, TBA

August 29 (T): NYC, TBA

---

That's it for now, just a rough sketch.

Clarifications as data dribbles into HQ.

Yours T'th'lly,

TS

Friday, April 21, 2006

O Canada, Our Homes We'll Scarcely Leave...

Jeez, one of the Canadian dates our booking intermediary had scheduled just fell through. As of this slightly bleak moment, we only have performances booked for Toronto on August 18, and Montreal on the 19th. Any Canadian fans with suggestons? (Apart from my shearing the Billy Gibbons beard-let I've been working on for the past eleven hours...) We'd like to head westward and exit at or around Windsor. Any chance for Hamilton, London, Ottawa?

Let us know ASAP.

Sincerely,

Tom

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

"Eternal Return," Yeah, Yeah, We Get It... (Repost #1)

Re TLASILA Rarities, Part 4:

Graham Moore from the Blossoming Noise label has recently been kind enough to offer a sliver of bandwidth so that previously posted TLASILA rarities may continue to be downloaded and shared. (Thank you very much, good sir!) The back-end recompense for BN might be something on the order of an exclusive CD release of certain (or all) of the rarities sets, but it's a little too early to delve into particulars. (Transparency is essential, non?) For the moment, fire up your browsers and suck down the ambiguity.

Grab the files here:

To Live and Shave in L.A. - Live, Churchill's, Miami, Florida, Saturday, October 15, 1994.

Original accompanying text:

[...]please accept this remastered, newly buffed, previously unissued, minimally edited TLASILA concert as a token of our affection and appreciation.
It was a great time for us musically, but the recording industry -- epecially within its devoutly, self-professedly independent sub-sectors -- was already showing signs of aversion to assimilation. In retrospect, this augured well for us. At the time, however, it was a source of great annoyance. We wanted to be heard.
Ben Wolcott joined the group in September of 1994, but for reasons no longer remembered (perhaps a scheduling conflict with a film production), he was unable to be with us on the evening of the 15th. Thus, the relative rarity of this performance...
We'd only recently wrapped Prostitution Heute!, the follow-up (EP) to 30-minuten männercreme, and had begun tracking our second full-length album, the ill-fated "Helen Butte" vs. Masonna Pussy Badsmell.
Michael Bull's Nightcap label sundered before Heute could be issued, and "Helen Butte" would ultimately be discarded by Ann Arbor's Bulb Records before washing ashore at Full Contact, a (very) short-lived subsidiary of Fifth Column. Those were miserable experiences, but they provided valuable lessons...
Rat Bastard played the bass. I sang and created the backing tapes.
Ariya Okomoto (then a member of Miami dream-pop cabal Snatch the Pebble) was the live engineer; he recorded the set for us.
The concert is complete. I edited the performance into five bite-sized chunks, but otherwise, thirteen minutes was about average for us. We crushed, then bolted. No mucking about.
01 I Suppress Nothing
02 Wanna Bust Up a Virgin Ass?
03 Modified Stock
04 58, Pumphand
05 Moschino Powerslum
06 "Free Bird" loop (bonus)
"I Suppress" and "Wanna Bust Up" would surface on Butte. Studio versions of "Modified", "Pumphand", and "Moschino" were recorded for Prostitution Heute! The "Free Bird" loop is exactly what you might expect, and it was made today, just for you.
File size: 30.5 MB / Ripped at 320 kbps / Total time: 13:17
Enjoy (if possible), share, etc.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

First Two Canadian Dates Revealed...

(Edited April 20, 2006.)

Here's where TLASILA will be going:

Friday, August 18: Toronto / Sneaky Dee's

Saturday, August 19 / Montreal / Club Lambi

With luck, additional dates will be added...

Yours,

TS

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Rest in Peace, Muriel...

From today's New York Times. (Although credited as being published on the 16th, it appeared in the online edition of the 15th...)

Muriel Spark, the Crème de la Crème of Contemporary Novelists, Is Dead at 88

By HELEN T. VERONGOS and ALAN COWELL
Published: April 16, 2006


Muriel Spark, known for her finely polished, darkly comic prose and for the unforgettable Miss Jean Brodie, one of the funniest and most sinister characters in modern fiction, died Friday at a hospital in Florence, Italy. She was 88.

Ms. Spark's death was announced Saturday, The Associated Press reported, by Massimiliano Dindalini, the mayor of the Tuscan village of Civitella della Chiana, where she had lived for almost 30 years.

Her work, unlocked from her innermost memories of her experiences before and after her conversion to Roman Catholicism in 1954, built a canon of short, sometimes macabre, sometimes darkly humorous novels that sought to pare away the absurdities of human behavior.



(Above, Ms. Spark, ca. 1940s.)

Ms. Spark's first novel was published when she was 39, and after that she supplied a stream of slender novels and enigmatic short stories peopled with such curiosities as narrators from beyond the grave, flying saucers, grandmotherly smugglers with bread bins full of diamond-studded loaves and individuals of such little substance that they disappear when the door closes.

In her writing evil is never far away, violence is a regular visitor, and death is a constant companion. Her themes are generally serious but nearly always handled with a feather-light touch.



(Muriel Spark's writing desk, Tuscany, 2003.)

It is this lightness, and a contrived detachment toward her characters, that became the target of the harshest criticism of her work, which at her death included more than 20 novels, several collections of short stories, poetry, criticism, biography, plays and a handful of children's books.

Some accused her of coolness and even cruelty toward the characters she invented and then send — sometimes quite merrily — to terrible deaths...

The rest of the obit may be found here...

Friday, April 14, 2006

Anti-Fascists Converge...

According to the most recent post on the Down with Tyranny blog, Neil Young has a new, virulently anti-Bush album (Life in War) ready for release. Awesome, as 2003's Greendale was a definite keeper. (Not too sure about the previous - or more recent - eleven thousand NY albs, however.)

Constant readers of the TLASILA blog have likely discerned that the forthcoming Noon and Eternity is itself a critique of contemporary America.

Why then do Wolf Eyes sing only of all-you-can-eat buffet restaurants and cookie dough ice cream on their pending follow-up to Burned Mind? Have they no social conscience? Damned Olsen!!! Even Mountain sang about heroin! C'mon!!!

(I kid the retro-noisers, I kid!)

---

Graham Moore car crash/carcass update:

"Hey, I am able to see well out of one eye now using this magnified computer screen... Brent is home now and feeling much better. Here is picture for pleasure..."



Ouch!

---

Hail Natas,

OmT the Oopl

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Whose Sexier Arteries? Which Lithe Nasum?

A spoonful o' pix from the April 8 after-party. We missed all of you who couldn't make it... (Maybe in 2056!)

xox

TS

---



(Graham Moore reclines across the bosom of a suspiciously familiar Buddha, April 8, 2006. Photo by C2.)



(Uncertain what grabbed TS's attention here, but it seems not to have been the short game... Moore was only seconds away from his eleventh lousy putt of the evening. Snap C2.)



(This one requires little explication... Photograph by C2, April 8, 2006.)

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

TS-Related Semi-Rarities, Part 2

(Downloads expired May 12, 2006; files have been removed. Thanks for listening, sharing...)

Om Myth, Nondor Nevai and Fred Ware III - Without the "C": October 5, 1996 (Gods of Tundra CD-R, 2001)

---

This one's particularly sad. While waiting for (the great, and greatly troubled) Nondor Nevai to arrive at my Atlanta crib in the autumn of '96 for a week-long recording/nitrous oxide sabbatical, brill pal Fred Ware 3 relayed a notice he'd found in a local rag's m'zak menu regarding Blue Öyster Cult having agreed to headline a fucking chili cook-off (I shit ye not) at Stone Mountain Park (the woeful home of Earth's largest sculptural pean to the Confederate States of America). This we naturally had to witness; Without the "C" was the document of that $6 adventure...

Released through the aegis of Gods of Tundra in early 2001, and withdrawn shortly thereafter.

TS, NN, FW3 - recording device, palaver. Fairly low-fi throughout, save for the Introduction...

01 Introduction to Futility

02 Approach

03 Horrors I

04 Horrors II

05 Retreat

File size: 93.6 MB / Ripped at 192 kbps / Total time: 68:07

Share, etc.

Love,

TS

50 Is the New Ethnographic Avalanche...

Well, I'm definitely on the flip side of human existence, and I'm not at all afraid. Vain? Definitely. Absurd? Profoundly so. Thwarted and occasionally pummeled by various demons? Mais oui. Frightened of the inevitable? I will stride toward inevitable and stick my tongue down its throat. We are all ultimately nothing, so what's to lose?

---

Snaps from the birthday celebration (and bleary day after):



(TS and Rat, Atlanta, April 8, 2006; photo by C2.)



(The gifts begin to mount - this cache held particularly sapid treats.)



(TS, blind drunk but suave at the b'day dinner...)



(This is what 50 looks like, kids. Self-portrait, April 10, 1956.)

Monday, April 10, 2006

Killer on the Road, Pt. 99999

Hello,

After leaving my birthday after-party in Atlanta in the early morning hours of April 9, Graham Moore from the fine Blossoming Noise label and his friend Brent were badly banged-up after a drunk motorist crossed over into the lane in which they driving.



(Graham and Brent at ommyth's birthday bash, April 8, 2006. Snap by C2.)

---

From Graham's email (prepared by Bobbie, his partner):

"Brent and I were hit head on by a drunk driver on our way home. He crossed all the way into our lane. I hit my face and eyes causing corneal lacerations and can't see at the moment, but they're healing. Brent suffered from a ruptured liver and spleen. He is stabilized now and will be fine."

For those friends of TLASILA who haven't had the pleasure of making Graham's acquaintance, please forgive the intrusion. However, for those who do...

Web: Blossoming Noise MySpace: Blossoming Noise

Best,

Tom

Friday, April 07, 2006

So Jealous!

Just off the phone with Andrew Who-Knows... On Monday he was a guest on Jonesy's Jukebox! It's probably my age and everything, but I would have flipped the fuck out. I'm not nostalgic for 1976, the Pistols, etc., but as one who's listened to "Satellite" maybe 60 billion times, Christ, I would have stammered like a leukemia-stricken middle school chicklet at a Children's Miracle Network luncheon for Jessie McCartney... AWK was kind enough to namecheck Don Fleming and yours truly on-air; yes, we saw Sex Pistols in Atlanta in 1978, and marveled at how uncomfortable they appeared to be, how untogether their sound was, etc. Their APOCALYPTIC attitude more than compensated, and I exaggerate not one fucking whit...

Anyhow, score another goal for Andrew. Steve Jones played "Vagabond," my favorite of AWK's brace of '05 compositions... I'm sure that the more recent version (with DF co-producing) will skin everyone alive...

Best,

STD

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Back from the Land of the Famished...

Sorry about the recent extended absence, but I've been both swamped at school and tethered after classes to the newly launched TLASILA MySpace page... Yeah, I know, it's sex predation central, but WE'VE GOT 18 FRIENDS!!!

Otherwise, there's much to report. I'll get to some of it later today.

Lastly, I finally caught up with Mark Shellhaas from Peach of Immortality! He's doing well. (We're hatching plans...)

My 50th birthday falls on the 10th. Since Mondays are awful for Dionysian blow-outs, we're throwing the first party in Atlanta on Saturday the 8th. (First? There's gotta be more than one fete, as my closest pals are scattered across the planet.) Pics and other embarrassments will be posted here as soon as the Rohypnol wears off.

New mp3 posts? Coming VERY SOON.

Love,

Tom

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Slinking into Group-Hug Oblivion...

Under pressure from monstrous peers, I've finally cracked and begun outfitting a To Live and Shave in L.A. page on teen-quim global directory MySpace.

Our info:

http://www.myspace.com/toliveandshaveinla

http://blog.myspace.com/toliveandshaveinla

Gee, uh, let's be friends! Cool!!!

---

Never Too Old to Dump Excessive Pride,

Tom

Sunday, April 02, 2006

No Blooz on B'Day (Blackouts, Howev', Are OK)

My 50th birthday falls on the 10th - man the battlements! To assist in the cerebration of the vagaries of flesh, Cyn is organizing a mini-bash in Atlanta. Members of TLASILA, Boat Of (!), and related terror cabals might actually attend... What's the diff between 18 and dotage? I'm less likely to run across town at full springbok gait / pilgrim lope to tell Don Fleming of a new Cluster edit I've created, but I'm not so jaded as to not want to blog about how bloody handsome I've become in the intervening centuries. Yes, my droogs, all is well (within strict parameters).

The question I now pose: If we provide cake, will you deign to devour?

From The Secret Language of Birthdays by Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers:

April Tenth: The Day of Daring

April 10 people have the courage to be themselves and to see their projects and ideas brought to fruition. Although they are not afraid of opposition and of fighting for their way of life, those born on this day do not seek out confrontation. (Truer words have ne'er been spoken...) They are not daredevils in any sense of the word; their courage is more a kind of moral fortitude based on strong principles and simple common sense. (Truckloads of same...)

There are two distinct types of April 10th "stars": the first is the loner, working on solo projects, developing a style, craft or talent in relative isolation from others (one requires strict solitude to shepherd a project as, uh, singularly brilliant as Without the C); the second type is the full-blown social star, a leader who seeks out followers. (Shave Army Bathist Auxillary, Ten-Hut!) April 10 people of the second type have a missionary zeal which can galvanize others to their cause in the most energetic fashion. (Warriors of PRE - lick the furniture of the office of the Journal of Qualitative Theory of Differential Equations, NOW!) Unlike the introverted April 10 person who devotes his/her energy to a personal, often technical, study, the extroverted April 10 person spends his energy organizing group or social endeavors, often with a grand design. (I call this meeting of the Galactic Comprehensive Downloaders of Out-of-Print Dave Douglas Albums to order!) But though they are outwardly oriented and wish to be appreciated (Soon-to-be-debased Village Voice writers, LOVE me!!), these realistic gamblers have no time for sycophants or hangers-on who are only there to provide a kind of false pride of conceit. (Bono, goddamnit, I told you to LAY OFF!)

More highly evolved April 10 people (of both types) recognize that blinding egotism or belief in their own infallibility may prove fatal in the next encounter. True warriors, they know their limitations well, and although they push them to the limit, rarely overstep. (Vedder Vedder Bedwetter to the contrary, anyone? I rest my case...)

Authors' Advice to April 10th People:

Let up in your intensity and beware of your obsessive-compulsive side. (Wha-?) Enjoy the simple pleasures of life; personal success is just as important as social success. (Ahhhh... Let me count my friends. Well, for starters, there's mom. And, uh, well, mom, then...) Follow your heart sometimes, not always your head. (Rat, I have a feeling this Death Cab tribute of ours is gonna KILL!)

If you're in the area and want to drop by, shoot us an email.

Best,

TS